Reading the Bible in 2018

This title is probably a bit weird, especially since it's the start of February, not the start of January - which, really, is a far more appropriate time to be writing about "[insert any topic] in 2018."

Granted. 

But I've had Bible-reading-related musings rolling around ever since December, and I figured it was still worth writing... For my own sake, and also because there might be people who don't share my "new Bible reading plan on January 1st!" enthusiasm. Or, people who might have started a Bible reading plan or goal for the new year, and have lost momentum. Or, maybe mostly, because our Bible reading isn't a set-and-forget to-do item that we tick off every morning or evening, but is a rich and real element of a relationship with the living God - and should be something upon which we're often prayerfully reflecting, and ready to adjust as needed.

My Bible Reading in 2017

Last year, I read the Bible in a year. My last blog post (which highlighted, to my sorrow, the fact that I didn't blog once in 2017!) reflected on my goal to do this again, and some of my reflections of having done it previously.

I loved it. Without repeating all my previous reflections from last year... I loved the bigness of the salvation history story, the richness of the different literary genres, and God's utter bigness and centrality to the whole story, and his sheer faithfulness in the fulfilment of his promises in Jesus Christ. It might be because I fell behind on my plan, and ended up reading the entire New Testament in December to finish by December 31, but... one thing that struck me deeply this time around was a deep sense of longing for Jesus. The Old Testament is full of beauty and wonder... and heart-breaking brokenness, and sin... and hope. People are so sinful and broken (even the best ones), yet God is infinitely, breathtakingly faithful. Honestly, after reading through the whole Old Testament, you just know in your guts that nothing is going to change unless God does something. By the end of Malachi, I almost cried with relief and wonder at turning the page, and finding Jesus. The answer, and the beginning and end of everything. The One for whom generations have waited, prayed, hoped. The One who bought our second-hand, shattered souls... with the price of his blood, no less. He is our greatest treasure.

It is so worth doing. I recommend doing it sometime, somehow - if you can. One of my friends, Peter, wrote a great blog post about how he read the whole Bible in 2017, is planning to do it again in 2018... and the fact that he did lots of his Bible "reading" by actually listening - using an audio Bible. It really is a fabulous option for doing at least some of your Bible reading. I love my audio Bible... for all the reasons that Peter mentions in his post. And honestly, if you felt inspired to read through the Bible in a year even now, once month into the year, it's not that hard to catch up if you listen to the Bible on your commute, while you wash up, or go cycling. (And who says you have to finish dead on Dec. 31st anyway?)

This Year

I loved reading the Bible in a year so much that I decided to do it again... in 2019. For 2018, I decided a bit more flexibility, and the freedom to explore and meditate on some of the questions and beauties that my 2017 Bible reading presented to me is what I presently most need.

I've been using a planned but unusually multi-faceted approach this year, but one that I pray will be fruitful. It's kinda comprised, roughly, of four elements:

• Reading and reflecting on a short daily devotion from Tim Keller's new book, The Way of Wisdom. (A great Christmas present from my wise and thoughtful husband!)
• Each month, I'm choosing a book of the Bible that I'd like to study in depth. I'm still working out what this looks like - but something like reading it through (several times, if it's shorter), opening up some commentaries, meditating on individual verses, central themes, observations, and applications that my head, heart, and hands need. January was Proverbs. (Prompted with spending the year with Tim Keller in Proverbs). February is 1 Peter.
• Reading and listening to whole books and big chunks of the Bible randomly when I have a space in my day or week to read, or a long drive or bike ride, or some housework to do, etc. (I still, and always, find reading large portions of God's Word deeply encouraging and helpful - as well as the necessary smaller, meditative chunks which the Holy Spirit works into your bones and life.)
• Finally, reading, thinking, and praying through the Bible passage which is going to be preached at church on Sunday - on the Friday or Saturday morning before.

Bible Reading Before Church

The fourth point is only a new addition in the last couple of weeks, and which has been particularly on my mind. I already have a habit of reading the passage we're doing at church whilst prepping for praying or song-leading at church, or whilst preparing a Growth Group study... but I don't think I've ever made a habit of intentionally and devotionally reading the passage before it's preached on a Sunday. And I'm keen for that to change.

Last Sunday, my church just began a series in the Gospel of Luke for Term 1. I'm always excited about starting a new series each term at church, and walking together with my brothers and sisters, empowered by the Word and the Spirit... and this term is no different. I'm particularly excited that we're going through Luke quite slowly - covering only chapters 1-6 this term, then coming back to more of Luke's story in term 3, and more again next year. It means we can slow down, digest the text, and pay attention to every detail in Luke's Gospel. I've been reading a bit of Luke's Gospel already, and I've been struck afresh by how incredible this story is. I've been struck by how, when I slow down and really read and chew over the details of this story, with curiosity and wonder, I start to notice things I've never noticed before, see things with a startling vividness, and find myself swept up in the story, and longing to read and understand more, and have my heart and life shaped by this story - and particularly by this man, Jesus.

This has motivated me to want to slowly and meditatively read the passage that we're covering on Sunday at church before Sunday rolls around - on a Friday or Saturday preferably for me. (Also to write down some questions, thoughts, and prayers in my journal - I love journalling, it's profoundly helpful for me.) I suspect that, having the passage under my skin before I even arrive at church will shape my affections and understanding as we gather together as brothers and sisters... as we talk together, sing songs of worship, and listen to God's word preached. I'm hoping it will help me to come to church already with questions (which I can listen for in the sermon, and talk about at growth group during the week), that the sermon will throw up more questions and observations for me, that it will help me to listen better, that it will deepen my love and affections for my Lord Jesus, as my personal meditation meets the public proclamation of the word, and that it'll create and deepen conversations with my brothers and sisters at church about God's word in Luke. For a start! Those are big expectations, and God often works in the ordinary and the small... but I do believe God works through his word and his Spirit, and so I am convinced that any effort in this direction is well worth it.

If you're a Christian, what have you been reading in the Bible so far this year? I'd love to hear. Perhaps you'd like to join me, particularly in reading, meditating on and praying through the relevant passage you'll be focusing on during your Sunday church service a day or two ahead? (If your church makes the passage available ahead of time). Listening to it on audio Bible is a great way to do it - I'll be doing this a fair bit!
If you're not a Christian, have you ever thought about giving the Bible a go? Maybe this is the year? It's a stunning, true story... well worth the read. 

Bible Reading for a New Year

I love new years.  For so many reasons.

One of those is thinking about how I'm going to read the Bible.

I love "resolutions" - or, perhaps more accurately: reflections, goals, re-orientations and dreams - but I don't have many resolutions that slam into effect on January 1.  (The classic:  "I'm having my last chocolate bar / binge TV watch / lazy slob day on Dec 31, before chucking out the chocolate / cutting out TV / exercising on Jan 1.")  Not so much.

But Bible reading is an exception for me.  I generally love starting a new Bible reading plan on January 1.  My plan often changes over the course of the year, as I spend time with God in his Word, and seek to listen to him when I need to be corrected with truth, comforted by his gospel grace and promises, and convicted by his call to obedience.

I want my "plan" to have this flexibility because I've learned that a Bible reading plan is a great servant, and a terrible master.  A Bible reading plan shouldn't become a means of measuring ourselves, trying to impress others or recommend ourselves to God.  However, if kept in its place, it can be a beautiful means of knowing and loving God, treasuring his Word, and setting your eyes and heart upon Christ.  

This year, I'm planning to read the whole Bible.

It kinda sounds big to read the whole Bible.  It can be hard work.  But it's doable!  And wonderful and surprising and humbling.

I've read through the Bible in a year a few times.  I still vividly remember the first year I actually completed it.  The year was 2008.  I was a final year dentistry student, and had become a Christian in September 2005, just a few years earlier.  

I just read through the Bible straight - from Genesis to Revelation - following a plan I'd found on the internet, which laid out how many chapters to read each day.  Much of the Bible was still vastly unfamiliar to me, but I plodded away, day after day, reading and praying my way through it.  I still remember sitting up in my little nurses quarters bedroom at Toowoomba Base Hospital (where I did my semester 2 prac), reading the Bible in the chilly early morning, simultaneously listening to an audio Bible - something that I found was immensely helpful in comprehension, and keeping me on track.

My impressions after that first time of reading the whole Bible in a year?

• I still didn't understand lots of it.
• I couldn't even really remember some bits I'd read.
• I had less than fond memories of Numbers and Chronicles, particularly their opening genealogies (something which has most definitely changed for me now!)

BUT...

• I discovered some incredible, rich parts of the Bible that I didn't even know existed
• It helped me to start to see the "big picture" of the Bible.  The story of salvation history, and how it all fits together.
• I started to see how all Scripture looks to, moves towards and is interpreted in light of Jesus Christ and his cross (Luke 24:25-27).  (And as the years have passed, I've come to see, understand and be deeply moved by this more and more and more.)
• I started to see how rich the Old Testament is, and how it accentuates and deepens the significance of the New Testament, and the grace shown in our precious Lord Jesus.
• I was humbled by this story of salvation history. as I saw how much bigger God's plans are than just my little life, yet at the same time, blown away that I was invited to become not only part of this incredible story, but a valued and significant member of God's family.
• It prompted heaps of questions, and I longed to know and understand more... and perhaps most of all:
• It drew me closer to my God, and his precious Son, Jesus Christ, and made me long to know him better through his Word and his Spirit. 

Another story:  A few years ago, I decided to try to read the Bible in 60 days, and one of my now-graduated youth girls was keen to join me!  Very ambitious.  We didn't make it.  We only made it to about Joshua... but we both reflected that even reading the Pentateuch in a week was so eye-opening to key threads and themes, and amazing to see the story unfolding in these big and sometimes tricky books.

I don't read the Bible through every year.  This year (2016), I started with a one-year Bible reading plan, but I stopped it after a couple of months because I felt the need to read slower and dig deeper into some key books and passages - and I'm glad for it.  But I'm planning to read the whole Bible again this year. 

Specifically, my plan is:  after being totally inspired by this blog, I'm going to read as much of the Bible as I can during January (my uni holidays).  I love reading, so I'm excited about this, and meditating on large chunks of Scripture for a while.  Then, I'm hoping to continue on with more manageable readings each day for the rest of the year.  For this, I'll be following a "chronological" reading plan - a plan which follows the Bible story "as it happened" chronologically (so, some of the historical books will be interspersed with prophets like Isaiah, for example - because they happened at a similar point in time.)

If it's something you'd like to think more about, or if you'd like to join me in 2017, there's some great resources and websites out there.  Here are just a few suggestions:

• A blog with 7 reasons why to read the Bible in a year.  I deeply echo the reasons that Melissa Kruger gives in her blog.
• The chronological Bible reading plan I'm using this year
• A few different Bible reading plan options (mostly whole Bible or New Testament), most with pdf options that you can print out
• A printable chart if you'd like to read the Bible in your own order, at your own pace, yet track what you've read. (And it's pretty!)
• If you have questions about reading the Bible in a year:  a very comprehensive FAQ!

A few final thoughts, if you'd like to read the Bible through in a year, and haven't done it before:

• Go for it!  It might be hard, but give it a try.  Even if you don't get the whole way there, it's still well worth the effort.
• Consider a plan that has daily reading from both the Old Testament and the New Testament.  (If you're more unfamiliar with the OT, it can feel like a long slog til you get to the Gospels.)
• An audio Bible really helped me, it might help you, too. 
• Don't be discouraged if you don't understand much of the Bible yet.  The more times I've read the Bible through, and have been studying the Bible, I'm getting to understand it more and more - and it is such a wonderful and precious thing!  We have a lifetime of walking with God and reading his Word - don't worry if there are some, or even lots, of bits that are confusing.
• Also don't be discouraged if you don't remember some of it!  (Same reasons as above.)
• If you have questions, find a mature Christian you know and trust, and ask them!  Great way to have some great conversations!
• Read Luke 24 - to hear on Jesus' lips how all the Scriptures ultimately point to him.
• If you would like to understand the "big picture" of the Bible better, check out "God's Big Picture" by Vaughan Roberts.  ("According to Plan" by Graeme Goldsworthy is also great - but it's a bit of a harder read.)

If you're a Christian, do you have any sort of a plan for reading the Bible in 2017? 

I'd love to hear!

On 2016, Death and Hope in the Darkness.

This morning, I awoke to the sad news that Carrie Fisher died.

Many people are heralding 2016 as a year we have survived (barely), but are ready to leave behind.

Indeed, 2016 has been a year of real sadness, claiming an inordinate number of dearly loved, talented, and well-known people - a trend which has continued all the way to the year's close.  Just to name a few:  Alan Rickman, Andrew Sachs, Leonard Cohen, Gene Wilder, Max Walker, Prince, George Michael, Muhammad Ali - and, to my deep sorrow, one of my favourites, Jon English.  (I've been a huge fan since I was in Grade 10).  And this is without delving into the other, even deeper, griefs and losses of the past year, including the devastating and ongoing war in Syria, distressing refugee crises around the world, horrific terrorist attacks which have shocked and silenced the watching world, and the ongoing horrors of domestic violence, suicide, and too many others to name.

With the news about Carrie Fisher this morning, a flood of tributes from friends, family and fans are pouring out.  Many are grieving the loss of Carrie, and celebrating and remembering this woman who, by all accounts, was smart, funny, kind, witty, talented, and bright.  To most, she is fondly remembered as Princess Leia in Star Wars, but I remember her most clearly in the movie in which I first saw her:  Drop Dead Fred.  A quirky, hilarious, ridiculous yet thought provoking and touching movie that I adored as a child - starring Rik Mayall, another great actor we lost in 2014.

A couple of Twitter comments were particularly striking:

"A wonderful talent and light has been extinguished" (William Shatner)

"Unbelievable that such a bright funny loving spark could be extinguished" (Graham Norton).

Death is such a shock.  Life truly is a light, a spark.  Human beings are capable of so much, and of loving so deeply.  Even though every single person on earth has died or will die, death remains a shock, and deeply jarring, to our very core.  We struggle to believe that something so horrific and painful could happen, and often with little warning.  It comes like a thief in the night, when we least expect it, to suddenly and inexplicably extinguish a light that burns brightly and is deeply valuable to others.  Even when death isn't a surprise, per se, there is perhaps an equal grief in seeing a light that once burned brightly grow dim, to fade away with age, disease and weariness, to lie in a hospital bed instead of living at home, until finally it's gone.

One of my favourite artists is Passenger.  Apart from being a stunning musician, he has a poet's heart, and is a keen observer of life, the world and himself.  His frequently sobering observations have often led me to think that one could put together the "worldview" of his songs, and end up, not so much with "the gospel according to Passenger", but perhaps, "the problem of the human condition according to Passenger."  He has a perceptive and honest way of pointing out the deepest unmet longings of the heart, our tendency to run in the wrong direction, and the failings even of relationships and love, the highest human hope and pursuit.

Even when he has no answers for his own questions.

In a beautiful song on his latest album, he sings movingly of his longings, yet concludes on a somber note:

i wanna be free as the winds that blow past me

clear as the air that I breathe

to be young as the morning, and old as the sea

to be free as the birds that fly past me

light as the fish in the sea

to be wise as the mountains and tall as the trees

i wanna be sunny and bright as a sunrise

happy and full as the moon

but i'm fleeting like fireworks, fading too soon.

I'm fleeting like fireworks, fading too soon.  How heavily the truth of this reality weighs upon us, as we consider our own mortality, and that of those dearest to us.  It's this same reality that William Shatner and Graham Norton recognised and grieved in the sudden passing of Carrie Fisher - in disbelief at how such a light could be extinguished.  Just like that.

In that sense, I wonder if 2016 is actually no different from any other year in its grief and losses.

Even the Bible affirms this reality of being human in this broken world.

All flesh is grass,

and all its beauty is like the flower of the field.

The grass withers, the flower fades

when the breath of the LORD blows on it;

surely the people are grass.

The grass withers, the flower fades,

but the word of our God will stand forever.

(Isaiah 40:6-8)

As for man, his days are like grass;

he flourishes like a flower of the field;

for the wind passes over it, and it is gone,

and its place knows it no more.

(Psalm 103:15-16)

Man is like a breath;

his days are like a passing shadow.

(Psalm 144: 4)

Perhaps nowhere is the brevity and futility of life more clearly seen than in Ecclesiastes.  (My current reading in the Bible).  The Preacher (the speaker in Ecclesiastes), in his examination of life with all his wisdom, identifies the futility of virtually everything we do.

I have seen everything that is done under the sun, and behold, all is vanity and a striving after wind.

(Ecclesiastes 1:14)

Not only is what we do frustrating, we have no control over what or who comes after us, to continue our memory, and to uphold all that we worked for and cared about:

I hated all my toil in which I toil under the sun, seeing that I must leave it to the man who will come after me, and who knows whether he will be wise or a fool?  Yet he will be master of all for which I toiled and used my wisdom under the sun.  

(Ecclesiastes 2:18-19)

And the terrible pinnacle of the futility of life is death.  The indiscriminate nature of death - it comes to all people: the good, the bad, the kind, the nasty, the creative, the hard-working and the lazy. 

Who knows what is good for man while he lives the few days of his vain life, which he passes like a shadow?  For who can tell man what will be after him under the sun?  

(Ecclesiastes 6:12.  Also 9:1-6)

Perhaps Ecclesiastes seems overly pessimistic (as does this whole post, maybe!), but the Preacher has an honesty that jolts us out of our complacency, like a strike of lightning in a summer storm.  In exploring the different life pursuits described in the opening chapters of Ecclesiastes, Derek Kidner comments:

Even the best of these pursuits, though, will satisfy us only in passing.  Then comes the reckoning - "then I considered all my hands had done" (2:11) - and because of death the final count comes out at nothing.  What makes it still more painful is to realise that this zero-result is an obliteration, an undoing.  There are values:  "wisdom excels folly as light excels darkness" (2:13); but there are none that endure when we are no longer there - nor anyone else - to value them.

(Kidner's BST Commentary on Ecclesiastes)

The obstinate fact of human existence is that death awaits us all, and it is the great leveller, the great undoer of all we have sought and fought for.  Ecclesiastes sits unapologetically amidst this reality, and helps us to feel the weight of the darkness.  Perhaps darkest of all is the reality that the darkness is not only around us, it is within us - the very darkness of the world starkly linked to the reality of human sin.

But this darkness isn't all there is.

As Kidner points out, there seems to be little left after the ruthless analysis of the Preacher.  "We begin to fear that [his analysis] is the only honest one."  Yet, ultimately, he ruthlessly demolishes in order to build.  He clears away everything, and all that remains is the foundational rock.  The rock which is God, the one who judges justly, and who lives forever.

Faced with the sadness, losses and frustrations of life, there remains only one true, remaining, everlasting Light.  And it's right when we are sitting in the darkness - the darkness of Ecclesiastes, of the losses of 2016, and indeed, of any year - that the Light shines the brightest.  

This futility, grief and fear we feel is real, not imagined.  We needn't pretend it's not there, or that it pains us less than it does.  But there is Someone who can save us from it, and give us real hope when it seems that there is none to be found.  

The greatest joy is that which breaks into sorrow, the greatest hope is that which breaks into despair, the greatest light is that which breaks into darkness, and the greatest life is that which breaks into death.  This is the gospel.  This is Jesus.  He didn't come just to provide some pithy material for the more spiritual amongst us.  He came to give hope to those of us (all of us) who had none...   And he did it by dying on a cross.  Dying in our place, and rising again to defeat our greatest enemy, death.

And so, for those who trust in Jesus...

...  just as the grief and inevitability of death weighs heavily on us, the eternal life which Jesus won shines as our greatest hope and certain future - the power of death destroyed - even when the grief of death remains.  (John 3:16; Eph. 2:4-7; 2 Cor. 5:1-4; 1 Cor. 15)

...  just as we are suffocated by loneliness, the indwelling Spirit and our union with Christ and our brothers and sisters, helps us breathe again, even when feelings of loneliness remains. (Matt. 28:20; Rom. 8:1-11; 1 Cor. 12:12-26) 

...  just as the future crushes us with anxiety and fear, the one who is making all things new, is both good and in control of all things, and working all things (sometimes mysteriously) for our good - a certainty in light of the cross - lifts that burden from our backs, and helps us take another step, even when feelings of anxiety remain.  (Rom. 8:28, 38-39; Matt. 11:28-30; Phil. 4:6-7; 1 Pet. 5:7)

...  just as our sin leads us to despair, the past, present and future promise of forgiveness, cleansing and grace, centred upon and flowing from Christ's cross, gives us unspeakable hope and joy, even when sorrow for sin, as we battle it, remains.  (Rom. 6:1-11; 8:1, 1 John 1:9)

...   just as we feel life's frustrations and pointlessness, we are reminded that, not only our future, but even our present is filled with meaning, as we live in Christ, in the light of his cross, and can store up treasures in heaven that will never fade.  (Gal. 2:20; Matt. 6:20)

If death is an undoing, Christ is the undoing of death's undoing.

Death is swallowed up in victory.

O death, where is your victory?

O death, where is your sting?

The sting of death is sin, and the power of sin is the law.  But thanks be to God, who gives us the victory through out Lord Jesus Christ.  

Therefore, my beloved brothers, be steadfast, immovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, knowing that in the Lord your labour is not in vain.

(1 Corinthians 15:54-58)

Because of Jesus, like Paul (above), we can actually mock death!  It pains and wounds and even kills us, but it will not have the final word.  

One short sleep past, we wake eternally,

And death shall be no more; Death, thou shalt die.

(John Donne, Death, Be Not Proud)

I'm grateful for that which makes me honestly sit with the futility and sorrow of the world, and my own imperfection and impermanence, because it helps me to see Jesus.  It surprises my heart yet again to realise what hope is mine in Christ!  My heart overflows yet again with joy when Jesus, and his cross, breaks into the depth of my pain.  And it fills me with a burning desire to tell everyone about him, because I know that the bleak and hopeless picture of life remains for all those without him.  I'm grateful that I can face 2017 with confidence, whatever it brings (in spite of personal fears of potential loss which may come), because of Jesus, my Saviour and Lord, and my only hope.

What is your hope as you face a new year?

Thoughts on the Cusp of Thirty

 
Well, here I am... sitting on the lounge and soaking up the last evening of my twenties.  I'm kind of excited about it.  (I feel like still being excited about your birthday is quite an un-thirtyish way to be... but I'm OK with it!)  I've celebrated a few thirtieth birthdays with my friends over the years, and it's often been described as both a "celebration and commiseration,"  Celebration because, naturally, it's a birthday, and a milestone at that.  Commiseration because, well, we're getting older.  Clearly older.  This is a whole new decade!

I can understand this.  Our society loves and celebrates youth.  Not only the wrinkle-free, rosy-cheeked appearance of youth, but also its attitudes and characteristics.  An intensity in living life; a ravenous exploration of the world and our place in it.  A vitality and energy in our pursuits.  The years ahead stretching out limitlessly before us, brimming with potential and possibilities.  Whereas, growing older seems to be marked by slowing down, the loss of energy and youthful beauty, and being gradually labelled as "old-fashioned", "out of touch"... no longer "cool" or "relevant," or any combination of these. *

"Don't get old," older people often tell me.  "There's nothing good about getting older."

So yep, I get it.  But I'm resisting.  In fact, I'm thankful for getting older.

...because each year is a gift from God.  The exact quote has escaped me, but I'll never forget Belinda Emmett (the actress who died at 32 of cancer back in 2004) saying that it was hard hearing friends complain of getting another year older, when she knew she may never get to be that age.  Every day, every moment, every year is a gift.  Even with the inevitable ups and downs, there are few people who deny that life is good.  A good gift.

...because, contrary to what so many voices tell us, there is much to be celebrated about age.  Our Western Aussie culture might have a love affair with youthfulness, but it has not always been so - and isn't so elsewhere in the world, even today.  In other cultures in our world (and in most cultures in the past), it is older people who are celebrated.  Youth is considered to make one irrational, immature, tempestuous, unreliable... still in need of teaching and discipline.  But age is respected.  Older people are considered to be wise, disciplined, experienced, and worthy of society's respect.  Without suggesting we flip society on its head (and I definitely think young people have a lot to offer!), I think there is a lot to be said for this view of age.  I have learned, and continue to learn, so much to learn from godly older people, who have lived through the ups and downs of life, and often have a stability, wisdom and experience which is hard to replicate in youth.

... and (most importantly), because this life isn't all there is.  I firmly and joyfully believe that there is life which goes beyond our life on this earth.  Everlasting life, which Jesus has secured for us by dying in our place, on a cross.  He died to defeat our great enemy, and the unspoken ally of human aging and decay of our bodies, Death.  In our insatiable desire for life on our own terms, we all ended up losing our lives.  No one escapes death.  But Jesus came to give life...  if only we believe it, and follow him.

In light of this, aging definitely loses its sting.  Don't get me wrong, times of grief still come, as we, and the people around us that we love, grow older, experience the decay of aging, and eventually die.  But what joy comes with the reality that even death is not the end for those who trust in Jesus!  And it gives a certain beauty to every moment, every day, and every year that God gives us life here on earth.

Another moment of enjoying the good gifts that he gives.
Another day of experiencing his daily mercy, grace and relentless love.
Another year of seeing a little more of the breathtaking and mysterious ways in which he is works - to bring about his kingdom, bring more people into his family, and make us, his children, look gradually more like Jesus.

I love God so much for this.  It's overwhelming sometimes to realise in just how many ways I still need to grow and change... but looking back over the last decade, I can see so much of his grace to me.  I can now see how he's guided me, even though I had no idea at the time!  I can see how much work he has actually done, in love and wisdom, and how he has grown and changed me, even if that work isn't finished yet...  and even though it's been painful at times, it is so worth it.

In this light, growing older gives me much more confidence, knowing that my life is in such safe hands.

And I wouldn't go back to twenty for anything.


*I'm aware that this paragraph is full of generalisations.  Apologies for that, but I definitely intended to speak only in generalities...  Every person is wonderfully different - young and old!

O Great God

It's been a tough couple of days.  Not because anything particularly nasty has happened; on the contrary, life has been pretty ordinary.  But, so often, I find it to be true that the deepest struggles strike in the ordinariness of the everyday.  For it's in the ordinary and unassuming times of just living life that the temptations of doubt, selfish desires and longings, and pride sneak in - almost unnoticed.  Before you know it, with the smallest thing, you're in a battle for your thoughts, your emotions, your soul.  Thank God that Jesus won the war, on that cross.  Thank God that he has given us his Spirit to work in and fight for us.

This is one of many reasons that I love worship music.  I love all kinds of music, but worship music (music we sing at church) is a precious and powerful gift from our loving, wise God.  He knows that we need to be constantly saturated with His words, to be reminded of his glory, and of his promises to us.  We need to be reminded of the gospel.

Tonight, this hit home as I played through a few older songs which we used to sing together at my church, but don't sing anymore.  In light of my recent (and regular) struggles with fighting sin and loving, trusting and rejoicing in Jesus, this one song was like a startling, hope-filled beacon of light across a stormy, turbulent sea.  It gave me a song to sing, and more than that, words to pray.  There's something incredibly beautiful about "prayer songs."  (I might have made that term up).  Songs which are basically prayers, and which we sing together as God's people.

This song is called, "O Great God."  It has an older, hymn-like style about it, and the lyrics are fantastic.  It's taken from Sovereign Grace's album, "Valley of Vision," named after a book of the same name, which is a collection of Puritan prayers.  The Puritans were guys who knew their God and his word, and who knew their own hearts.  Who had a way of articulating what we need to pray.

This is what I needed to pray today.  If you do too, sing and pray with me!

O great God of highest heaven
Occupy my lowly heart
Own it all and reign supreme
Conquer every rebel power
Let no vice or sin remain
That resists Your holy war
You have loved and purchased me
Make me Yours forevermore

Pondering the Year Past

Being the fourth of February, 2015, it might seem a little late to be writing about "the year that was" in 2014.  Admittedly, it is a little late.  But, in my defense, I feel like my 2015 butterfly is only now beginning to emerge from its cocoon. Like my 2015 kettle is only now coming to the boil.

Why?

Well, it's really a circumstance thing.  My husband and I have been in the process of selling our house, and buying a new one.  No simple undertaking!  The moments and days of January have been filled with emails, phone calls, inspections, budgets, loans, and forms - as well as preparing for a new year.  We move on the weekend.  Uni starts back two days after that.  Term One at church just started this week past.  It's been an exciting time.  And busy.  And distracting.  It's only now that my mind has been slowing down enough to reflect on 2014.  It was a lovely year.  Worth reflection, and some deep heavenward gratitude on my part.  It's also a nice way to dip my toes back into something that I've loved doing - typing away on this blog.

Overall, 2014 was a happy year.  Particularly after 2012 and 2013, which were more on the challenging side.  It felt like God was taking a wrecking ball to some pillars in my life which had to come down.  They were precious years, but difficult and draining.  In 2014, the sun came out.  God gave me some beautiful gifts to enjoy, and it was a time in life where, as we sing, "the world's all as it should be."  Life has a way of unfolding in twists and turns, and ups and downs, so before it continues to unfold much further, 2014 deserves some celebration.

So here goes.

Five Highlights of 2014:

5.  Community and Changing Churches.
At the end of September, I started going to a different church.  Well, it's actually another campus of the same church but, since I'd been going to the same church for the last seven years, the move still felt significant.  (Although, amidst getting married, being in first year at bible college and planning to move houses, it kind of just blended into one of many changes!)  There have been challenges mixed in, such as missing people I don't see as much, and needing to find my place in a new church... but it's overall been an exciting and lovely change.  For lots of reasons - not least of all seeing Josiah settle into his new role there - but one thing that's stood out in my mind is a heightened awareness of, and appreciation for, community.  People in the old campus expressed real love and care as I said goodbyes, and some have been intentional about keeping in touch, praying for us, and maintaining the relationship.  People in the new campus have been welcoming, loving, friendly, and keen for us to be part of their community.  I also felt enveloped by the warmth of relationships and mutual joy in everything surrounding our wedding.  As human beings, we so need one another (even those of us who find it easy to be alone), and it feels so right when it's done well.  For we have been designed this way by our community-minded God.

Noticing this has definitely been a highlight of 2014, and I've been so enjoying being in community - with my beautiful family, friends, church family, college, work... etc. 

I've also been watching a lot of the sitcom, "Community".  Such a good show.

4.  Music.
It's been a fun year of music!  From the start of the year, I continued in the morning music team at church, to my great delight.  It's such a joy to play music with such a talented bunch of musicians, who loved singing and playing to God's glory and praise every Sunday.  I stepped back from this team the week before our wedding, as Josiah and I were moving churches once we were married, and it was a source of very real sadness at the time.  It's hard to give up something you love.  But it can be good for the soul, and even in little things like that, you learn to trust and thank God more.  And happily, I ended up joining the music team at our new church - which is also full of talented musos who love God and creating music for him and his church!  Pretty brilliant.

I also got to go to some very cool gigs this year. The main ones being:  Bluesfest, Keith Urban (a surprise present from Josiah - yeah!!), James Vincent McMorrow, and Passenger.  (Passenger was in January, but he was amazing, and for the reasons given at the start of the blog, I'm counting it.)

3.  Growing Up.
It's really not so bad, growing older.  Sure, you lose some physical beauty which comes so naturally with youth... but in light of gaining life experience, lessons learned, greater understanding of who you are, and seeing with more clarity God's goodness, guidance and love over the course of life thus far, it is a really good exchange.  This has been a realisation which has been slowly dawning on me, especially through 2014.  One specific thing I've loved is the joy of relationships with younger women - some of whom I've known since they were in early high school, and being able to share and talk with them in a deeper and more understanding way, because I've so often been through what they're going through now.  I sure as heck don't have all (or even many of) the answers...  but I love watching these younger ones grow into adulthood, to see them trust Jesus, to see the journey that God takes them on, and to be humbled that I sometimes get to play a part in their journey.  It's nice to be an older woman to some people.  I like it.

2.  Loving Theological College.
Studying at Queensland Theological College this year has been awesome!  There is simply no more appropriate word.  My brain and heart have been bursting at the edges from all that I've had the opportunity to explore and learn.  I've spent significant time with almost every book in the Bible.  I've wrestled with Greek, explored the past world of the Reformation, had some concepts of who God is blown apart, and had a crack at preaching.  Admittedly, it has been a little like taking a peek behind what looked like an unassuming wooden door, and realising that it's actually a hollowed-out mountain, with more rabbit trails, rooms, and nooks and crannies than you could ever find, let alone explore.  There is so much I don't know, and will likely never know.  But I love what I have learnt in 2014, and am keen to squeeze every drop that I can manage out of the next two years.  I've also loved the community at college.  The lecturers are as approachable and interested in students as they are knowledgeable.  We gather for chapel every week, to sing, pray and be challenged and encouraged by God's word.  We get to do a bit of life together with people we might otherwise never have met.  Such a highlight of the year.

1.  Josiah.
I was blessed to celebrate the beginning of 2014 in Sydney, watching the New Year's Eve fireworks with my darling boyfriend, Josiah.  In April, on the beach, as the sun reluctantly retired behind the Byron Bay hills, I became his fiance.  In September, his wife.  Our wedding was a sunshiny, happy day, which felt as normal as it did special - part of what made it precious.  And, after a bit of valuable theory, we've been involved in the practice of being married for the last five months.  It's been such a sweet journey.  It's not always easy, and we're still learning the art of loving well.  But how thankful I am to God that I have a husband who is godly, kind, strong, handsome, thoughtful and fun... one who loves me (emotions, insecurities and all), and who, above all, truly loves Jesus.  I've learnt a lot about the gospel, and about how incredible God's love is, through being married to Josiah, and I'm so looking forward to continuing the journey.

So that's 2014 for me.  For the record, there were plenty of struggles too... I've definitely focused on the highlights!  But I thought they were worth the airtime.

If you can think back that far, what were your favourite bits of 2014?

Music Monday #5: In Wonder

This song is definitely an oldie but (I reckon), a goodie.  I'd almost forgotten this song existed, but have just rediscovered it in the last week or so (thanks Spotify!)  

I love the Newsboys.  Unashamedly.  I can't help but be drawn to their pop-rock sound, and Peter Furler's distinctive vocal tones and fantastic energy!  But most of all, I love their lyrics.  I love the way they use new, thought-provoking words and imagery to express gospel truth.  

There are so many Newsboys songs worthy of a blog feature.  But, as I said, this is definitely the one that has made a happy home in my head and heart - at least at the moment... 

"In Wonder".

It's a song that ponders the overwhelming magnificence and beauty of the world around us.  Rejoices in all that God's hands have made, and the way that all creation is drawn to stand in wonder at the God behind it all.  Songs about the wonder of the universe have always struck a chord with me... God of Wonders, Indescribable, Psalms 8 and 104...  I find it pretty easy to look at this incredible planet and out into the atmosphere, and stand in awe of the God who made it all.  (I'm probably not unusual in this!)  But more that that, I love "In Wonder" because it doesn't stop there - at a God who makes pretty things... even if they're big and amazing pretty things!  It points out that the God who is so stunningly powerful and imaginative to have made all this, actually cares about us - to the point of sending his own dearly-loved son to rescue us from the mess we've made.  He gets his hands dirty in his own creation, even though he has never been obliged to.  Such is his glory, mercy and love.  

Whenever I hear this song, and am reminded of these truths, I want to stop whatever I'm doing, and join in as all creation sings in wonder... every sea, every creature, every star!  God is worthy of our songs, and I'm thrilled to be one of the many voices which belong to him and sing with love to him.  

Will you join me?  

(Even if you're not a fan of this particular song! Great as they are, you sure don't need the Newsboys, or any band, to worship God...)

Such a wonder... ordering time and tide

Such a wonder... bridging the great divide

I consider all that you had, all you gave

All that you endured from this rebel world

What a wondrous cross you chose to bear

What a wonder you would even care